Merry Christmas from the Burns Family 2009!!!

The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature." ~ Andy Rooney

I just got in from shoveling nearly a foot of snow off of our cars for the second time today. I have learned that resistance is futile in this particular battle against the great white death, but at least our cars will be clean when it stops snowing. Clean, but completely surrounded by several feet of snow… I’m glad we’re driving to Ohio on Tuesday and didn’t plan on leaving today. It’s a mess and it’s the most snow DC has had since the 1930’s.

We decided to move again in June and we moved to Loudoun County. It’s a little further out from DC, but it’s a nice area and you get more bang for your buck apartment/house wise. Loudoun County is rich in history. One of my favorite history nuggets is from the war of 1812. Important Federal documents and archives including the Declaration of Independence were evacuated from Washington and stored at Leesburg for safe keeping. Local tradition holds that these documents were stored at Rokeby House and that Leesburg was briefly the capital of the United States.

My great, great, great uncle Jebbadiah Burns was the hero of the Civil War battle of Balls Bluff. Historians consider him to be the only American Ninja to serve in the Civil War. He was swift, and his catlike reflexes allowed him to silence the cannons of the North and secure a victory for Col. Evans against the cowardly General McClellan. It was said that Jebbadiah scoffed at the idea of using something as primitive as black powder when he could accurately deliver throwing stars to the enemy with a swift throw. He also was known for his strange ritual of pulling the legs of the dead.

Jen is a Girl Scout Daisy assistant leader now. Her troop is going to be the first group of 5 year old scouts to travel to space and sell cookies on the international space station. The cosmonauts are still a little shaky when it comes to capitalism, but they have a sweet tooth for thin mint cookies. Yes, the scouts accept accept rubles… She’s still a stay at home mother and works extremely hard taking care of our girls and our knuckleheaded dog. She started writing a book and I’m anxious to read it. It’s a thriller and I love the way it started. I’m hoping it doesn’t involve the strange disappearance or bludgeoning of a father of two girls with a lovely wife and a knuckleheaded dog. On Jen’s spare time, she scours Fairfax County looking for the lost Civil War Union payroll of Seven Corners.

Hannah started Kindergarten this year and loves it. I think she likes it a little too much. I’m sure you can imagine our shock when Hannah told me and Jen that she was going to take Connor into the bathroom and kiss him. Jen said she couldn’t kiss him in the bathroom, so Hannah replied with “ok, I’ll kiss him in the hall.” My jaw was open for about 3 minutes and I couldn’t seem to close it. She is still in dance class and went to basketball camp this fall and will be starting cheerleading the first of the year.

Heidi is a little monkey and is the total opposite of her sister. If it’s on the floor, it fair game to go in her mouth. I think she learned that from Clarence. It’s like the little girl that was raised by monkeys and wild dogs. She climbs everything and if she falls and busts her head, she’s back at it again in no time. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if she started saying “oonga boonga” and swinging from vines.

Clarence has emotional issues and we started him on an antidepressant. He has separation anxiety and hates it when we leave him in the apartment. He’s still great with the girls and let’s them climb all over him, bight his ears, (Heidi) and gouge his eyeballs out. (Heidi again) He’s a good boy and asked me nicely not to mention that he eats his own poop sometimes.

I’ve been doing good this year. Things are going great at work, and I actually had my first gig since 2003. I sang Christmas carols at work! I finally found a decent barber. I had all sorts of wacky barbers , but the wackiest one this year actually pulled my shirt down around my neck and shaved the fur around my neckline. You can imagine how I looked at the pool. Awkward…

Merry Christmas and a Happy 2010!

~ Bob

Bob on Facebook

I'm spending most of my time on Facebook. If you request me as a friend, make sure you tell me how we know eachother.

I'll still post here every so often, but I'm way more active on Facebook. Just click below to request me as a friend.



Thanks!

Bob

The Burns Family Christmas Letter

Merry Christmas from the Burns Family 2008!!!

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child." ~ Erma Bombeck

It’s 3:26 AM on December 19th and I’m just getting to the annual Christmas letter. Jen & I will be packing up the kids and driving back to Ohio on Saturday, so I’ve got to stuff the cards in the mailbox before we leave. Did I say Kids? Did I say drive back to Ohio? Yes my friends, much has changed in the last year… Sit crisscross applesauce and let me tell you a tale of a family that moved east.

First and foremost, on December 26th, Jennifer had her yearly appointment with her OB-GYN Kenobi. When she came home, she was glowing and smiling from ear to ear. She was pregnant!!! Of course, we were both like “HOLY CRAP!!!” This was a bit much to take in since she was told she couldn’t have any more children. We’d been trying since 2006 and had just given up. Funny how things work, huh? It was the best Christmas present ever. I should get the Stanley Cup for getting one past the goalie!

Just as the first pregnancy, this pregnancy came with its own challenges. Jen was considered a high-risk pregnancy and had to go to the doctor regularly to have her tires rotated and fluids topped off. On August 22nd, Jen gave birth to Heidi Rowan Burns. She was 18.5” and 5.9 lbs. She’s pushing 13 lbs. now.

In the midst of all of Jen’s pregnancy fun, I relocated to the Washington DC Metro Area where I had accepted a job with the TSA Office of Strategic Communications and Public Affairs in Arlington, Virginia. I moved to DC in March and Jen moved in with her parents.

We put our house on the market in March and it’s still for sale. If you’re interested in renting or buying, let me know. Feel free to make crystal meth and blow the place to high-hell. (My attorney advised me to add a disclaimer that I’m just kidding)

Fast forward to now and we’re all in Virginia. We settled in Falls Church. It’s about 10 miles from my office and 11 miles from DC. Factoid: The world's first wartime aerial reconnaissance was carried out in Falls Church from Taylor's Tavern by Thaddeus Lowe and his hot-air balloon. Falls Church later became the world's first target of an aerially-directed bombardment, courtesy of Lowe and his balloon. On a clear summer night, you can still hear ol’ Thaddeus hootin’ and hollerin’ from the skies above. Not really, I just made that up…

We’re all doing great. Jen is enjoying herself as a stay at home mom. She is lacking a bit of adult interaction, so if you want to visit DC, say the word! While the kids are sleeping, Jen strives to complete her African Horned Beetle collection. Hannah is currently taking Taekwondo, dance, piano and beginner’s quantum physics. Heidi is eating, sleeping and pooping. Clarence spends his time enjoying fine Cuban Diplamaticos with stiff Scotch & Sodas.

All is good on my end. But…I’m in search of a barber. I went to this place called the Father & Son Barber Shop. I walked in and didn’t see a father or a son. I saw three women. I sat down for a haircut. I asked for a #3 on the sides and a slight trim on top. Next thing you know, the buzzer was grinding and hair was flying everywhere. Already in a state of shock, I was then stunned by a whisk brush to the head. The woman began beating me about the head neck and shoulders while taking a few layers of skin along with the hair! You can only imagine the horror I felt when she pulled out the straight razor to trim my sideburns and neck. I subscribe to the glass half full philosophy, so on the bright side, I haven’t needed a haircut in over a month.

Merry Christmas! Bob & Jen

Baby Update VI (Photo)

Mother and baby are great! Hannah is already a pro at rocking and singing her sister to sleep.

This isn't the best picture, but it will work until I can download pictures from my camera.

Bob

Baby Update V

We have a name!

Heidi Rowan Burns

It's amazing how fast you can fall in love. OK, I'm going to sign off before I get all mushy.

Goodnight and I'll try to get some pictures up soon.

Bob

Baby Update IV

She's here! She was born at 4:54 PM. She's 5 lbs 9 oz. and 18.5 inches long. Jen is in a lot of pain so she hasn't really gotten a good look at the baby. She wants to see the baby before we name her, so no name yet! Also, her face is buried in her mother's boob at the moment.

She looks just like her mother. Especially when she gets mad. Ah man... I'm in big trouble.

Bob

Baby Update III

They just wheeled Jen off to the OR. This is going to be a long 30 minutes. Hannah is here with pink balloons for her new sister. She's so excited about getting to meet her. It won't be long now!

Bob